07/10 My current life landscape calls for something big and grand to happen in this pivotal and transitional period but ultimately I want to rot away and just go on my phone. its hard to find motivation in a place so uncertain of any benefit… in my past this uncertainty would fuel me to explore and create but right now im out of steam and out of luck. every app feels like a bid for attention that reaps little to no reward. even going outside feels empty and hollow. an unfortunate loop i've found myself in.
07/09 nothing has happened… phone calls movies and music all escape me with less thoughts than approached… I reach out to no avail yet purposefully leave things unanswered who holds the power when you decide what you want.
Back
07/11 This calm is much needed, i
ran around the past few years chasing something that's so far down the line. uncentered. im taking this time to really know what im doing. feeling the running water across my skin. how my bed shapes and molds around my body
07/12 Ive always been obsessed with these 2 songs. I really see them as the peak of the eras they reside in transcending that praise to be the best songs ive ever listened too. riding around town at night with them on repeat is a cathartic release.
Adele - Chasing Pavements
Pnb Rock - Selfish
And im not joking
07/13 sleeping 18 hours and still Im incredibly impatient. I want to know what happens at the end of HxH
07/15 Dancing around the darkness vices railed and slugged. im a 25 year old man still running around in my underwear like im 17 again (if I was ever allowed). life going nowhere and somewhere at the same time. I close my eyes and watch the lights dance and race by.